Standridge Family

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Cute and Funny Elderly Moments

A resident I assist with dressing was standing next to his chair. I said to him, "go ahead and sit down and I will put you pants on....his response back to me was..." I don't think they will fit you."
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A resident was asked to participate in the fitness classes offered once a week, to help her stay fit. Her remark back was "Honey, I have had 8 children I think that is active enough."

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I was escorting a resident to an appointment. Afterwards she said she needed to go to the Lady's room. I said that was fine I assisted her into the public restroom and told her I would wait outside the restroom for her. Just as I said that the stall door opened and she was standing their with her panties down around her ankle. Baring all to see, she said "there is no toilet paper in this stall" she then shuffled into the next stall with her pants still around her ankles. Shocked by what just happened and afraid someone would walk in. (while she was still shuffling)I asked her if I could help her. Her response "I'm fine." When she got in the stall she opened the door while on the toilet and said. This one does not have paper either will you get me some. (She was wrong their was TP in the stall she just did not know how to work the container the TP was in to get the TP out).

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Two elderly women were going down the hall and one was pushing the other in a wheelchair. The one in the wheelchair said, "I must be getting old."

The lady pushing her said, " Me to I can't remember anything"

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While escorting a resident to the dentist she decided she prefered to walk back to the complex instead of wait for the bus. It was not that far from the complex so I called my work and told them I would be walking back no need for a bus ride. As we walked out of the office. I put my hand out to help her down the stairs and on to the path. She slapped my hand and said, "Honey, I don't need help, I can do it just fine on my own" I told her that was fine and we started down the path about twenty feet away she said, " Well at least you could do is hold my hand to help me with balance." I told that I would surely like to help. (the mind is a funny thing when it starts to go)

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I went to assist a resident to bed one night. When I got to his apartment he was on the floor in the middle of the room. I asked him if he fell. He said No, I slid to the floor, my feel are slippery and down I went. I asked if he was hurt he said no, I want to get to my room. I explained I'd get some help. He said no just DRAG me to my room. I explained I don't DRAG resident to there rooms but will get some help. When help arrive he said to the girl, she will not drag me to my room will you? She informed him as well that we do not drag but will assist him up. We did help him to his wheelchair.

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While visiting an elderly couple the wife climbs out of the sofa and comes over to the table where I was sitting, leaving her husband on the sofa to watch TV alone. The husband say's, are you done watching TV? She said, yes. She then asks him, "Are you done watching TV? He said, no but I will go to bed if you are. She said, Oh, I will come over there and hold your hand while you watch TV. I like holding your hand."

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As I ride the elevator up to the 3rd floor I stop on the 2nd and a couple of elderly residents entered. I asked if they liked the movie they just saw "Some Like it Hot" The elderly man said, "Yah, that Marilyn Monroe is something". The elderly woman replied it was ok. The elderly man says, "whatever happened to Marilyn you don't see her anymore". I told him that all of the main characters have passed on. The elderly women said, "yah she's gone". The elderly man said, "that is too bad". We all get off on the 3rd floor and as I turn to the right and they both go to the left I heard the elderly man say, "how long ago did she die?" elderly women, "not long ago."

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While assisting an elderly man with his medication a pill dropped out of his hand and into his lap between his legs. I asked him if he could get it he said he could not see it. I asked his wife if she could come and get the pill. She said sure, she came over and as she reached between his legs she looked up at me with a twinkle in her eye and said "CHICKEN" with a smile on her face. While giggling and a little embarrassed I said that is a place only a wife should go.

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An elderly woman was in her room as I was assisting her with her medication. She asked me if she was crazy I said no just a little forgetful. She said, "So I am losing my brain"?

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On Thanksgiving day I was helping an elderly lady get ready for the day. As I left she said Happy Easter.....I paused smiled. She then looked at me ands said...no Thanksgiving Right...I smiled and said right.

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Poems

This Single Woman
by Jennifer Newell

He has the sea-
I have a dripping water faucet
(tightened every year)

He gets to pick
I have to fish
(which stream)

Emotion highs
Emotion lows
(can’t I cry)

Dreams wished
Dreams crushed
(pressing on)

World perspective
Eternal perspective
(burdens lightened)

Cinderella
Reality
(A strong woman)
_____________________________________________ I WANT TO BE CRAZY IN LOVE!
-by Jennifer Newell

I want to be crazy in love,
The touching and poking and monkeying around.

I want to be crazy in love,
The nuzzling and cuddling, endless puppy play.

I want to be crazy in love,
The cooing and cawing of perched love birds.

I want to be crazy in love,
An animal attraction that does not go away.

Do I want to be crazy in love?

The inability to think of anyone else,
To gaze longingly in to each others eyes,
To hold and be held, the touch of your lips,
The excitement in your voice.

Oh, yes ...oh, yes I WANT TO BE CRAZY IN LOVE!
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Pain
by- Jennifer Newell

The pain it comes then it goes,
It lingers often and sometimes moans,

It builds and stings but could flee away?
The pain you wonder how long it will stay

Drifting in & swallows you whole,
Do I give in, I want to let go.

The pain is sharp then its dull,
I feel so numb it hurts the soul

How long will it last, where do I turn?
For me, the Lord will take the burn,

He hung on the cross and bled from the skin,
He Atoned for me, he took my PAIN in.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

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